This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it because I queefed?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
