i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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