butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
