yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
