hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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