The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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