I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
