Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
