i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
