omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
