Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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