If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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