So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
