im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
