So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
