quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
