No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
