its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize