Nicole vs. Life
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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