If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
