I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
