Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
