I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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