so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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