Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
