On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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