New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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