just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
