You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
