Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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