my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
