Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
