Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
