my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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