me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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