i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
