Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
