I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
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