Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
