My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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