i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
