Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
