sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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