Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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