have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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