Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
