is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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