she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize