Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
