...so i touched it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
