i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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