Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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