Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
