roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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