do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
