he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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