I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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