I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
